Setting Goals and Sticking To Them

April 5, 2020

I set goals for myself; ones that I know are realistic and achievable. 

Here’s the thing before I continue I think I should distinguish resolutions and goals because people get the two mixed up. So let’s clarify; a resolution is “a firm decision to do or not to do something”. This makes sense because a lot of New Year resolutions don’t come to fruition. A goal on the other hand is “the object of a person’s ambition or effort” to get to a desired result or outcome. Goals involve intentional setting, planning, preparing and taking action. 

Rather than resolving to do or not do something, why not set a few reasonable and attainable goals? 

Here are just over a handful of tips you can implement TODAY so you don’t have to wait until the end of the year. 

1 :: Get specific on the goals you want to achieve. Think about what you want to attract in your house.  Get specific with the type of value you want. And make sure you get specific about how you’re going to attain your goals; having a clear strategy will help you. 

2 :: Make sure your goals depend solely on you and no one else. As hard as it might be the truth is the only person you can truly rely on is yourself. Sorry but this is true even if you’re married or in a committed relationship. Don’t let others influence your goals; someone else won’t be as invested in your goal as you are. Plus you don’t want someone else to be the excuse for your inability to achieve your goals. It’ll be on you, love. 

3 :: And that leads me to accountability. Accountability is your friend. Be sure to hold yourself accountable and establish a realistic time frame.  You don’t have to achieve something overnight but you definitely want to have a time frame; think in terms of 1-3 months, 3-6 months, 6- 12 months). With accountability there should also be flexibility. The importance of a goal may change and therefore its time frame will need to be adjusted.

4 :: As I said you should only rely on yourself but you’ll also want your goals to be your own. Here’s what I mean, your friend is extremely sick and you want/wish her to get better. That’s very  honorable but you have no control over someone getting better. Your goals need to involve steps you control and be things you can attain. Keep in mind dreams and wishes are very different from goals.

5 :: I mentioned before that your goals will range on their level of importance. You should rate your goals. When you rate them give some thought to it. When I first started doing this I would often get overwhelmed by everything that I was trying to change. Honestly this is one of the reasons my resolutions never came to fruition; I was putting too much on my plate and wanting to accomplish everything at the same time. Here’s a suggestion on how you might want to think about creating a guide to achieving your goals:

Write down all of your goals and try to rate them easiest to hardest. As you write them down you might want to categorize them (e.g. easy to achieve, quick to achieve, will require more effort, will require more time).

6 :: When you are writing down your goals make sure you’re in a space with no distractions; a quiet place where you can think and reflect. Now give yourself a time limit. After you write down your goals give them 24 to 48 hours and look over them again to see if they still resonate with you. And be sure to say your goals out loud because words manifest themselves.

Now you’re all set to set goals and stick to them.

We would love to hear about how your experience with goal setting is going. Share with us, leave your thoughts in the comments below or on our Facebook page. I also invite you to join The Doula Couple every Tuesday for our Facebook live ParenTea Talk. 

Authored by Sharita Thompson, M.Ed, HBCE

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